I’ve always been afraid of spiders. As a child, adults would take care of the problem. When I got married, I told my husband that somewhere in the vows he promised to take care of the s things like slugs, snakes, and spiders. He doesn’t remember that part of the vows.
If a spider is outside not touching me, I leave it alone. I figure outside is their territory and they have a right to it. Inside, though, I eliminate them in any method I can. If they’re on the wall, I squish them, run away, and leave the carcass behind. I figure maybe their buddies will notice the treatment of spiders and vacate the premises. After all, where’s their rent check?
Yesterday my husband and I were sitting on our gazebo and he asked, why is that branch moving like that? I turned around to look and said, it’s a spider spinning its web and the branch is twitching in reaction to its fast movements. We watched and after a short time the branch stopped moving. I said, now it’s putting in the parts to strengthen the web.
Closer to us was a curve shaped like a giant capital C made by a wisteria tendril, and in the middle was a spider web. I felt safe turning my back to it because it was small and far away.
This wisteria bloomed twice this year.
This morning, off to walk the dogs and Sarah our oldest made a u-turn on the porch. She doesn’t hear, and I think she’s losing her vision. Her sudden movement saved me from a spider web face plant. I hate August and September when the spiders start to spin their webs in my pathways. Did they cut the blackberries, put down landscaping fabric, and establish these paths? Nope. So why pick the paths I want to walk on to lay their webs? There are tons of other spots on the half-acre to spin where they can get their food supply. Didn’t they get the word from their indoor cousins not to mess with me?
So, what to do? Easy. Find the attachment fiber, swipe it down and then pull your hand back quick because he’s coming to get you. Even better, swipe the opposite side after the first and see where he lands and walk away.
I had to put up with red-backed spiders, funnel-web spiders, and trap door spiders for three-and-a-half years in Australia. I didn’t see any red-backed spiders until after our baby was born and there were two in our house within four months. A trap door spider lived in our yard and would pop up the roof of its home to grab its prey. I had no problem with that one until a friend came to visit inside, above the toilet.
Sometimes I just head to the bathroom, eyes closed, with an objective. When the objective was finished, and I reached to flush, there was the trap door spider. I screamed. I don’t think I’ve every screamed so loud in my life. I then screamed spider. My husband yelled, I’ll get a shoe. I yelled, you need more than a shoe.
When you squish a trap door spider with the metric equivalent of a 2 x 4 there are legs hanging out because those spiders are wicked big.
Lesson learned, look before you sit.
Back home in the USA in the PNW there are far fewer icky spiders.
Having children means you are the grown up, and it’s better not to pass fears on to them. I remember a day in Hoquiam where Jeff had a job interview. The baby and I went with him and were enjoying a blanket on the grass. Little spiders started to come onto the blankie. I picked them up and tossed them away. More and more started coming. What to do? The amount of stuff needed to move a baby, diaper bag, blankie, my purse, not to forget it was the only dappled shady spot in the park meant we weren’t moving. So smiling and showing no fear, I continued to keep the blankie spider free.
Later we moved to Longview and built a house among evergreen trees. Big icky spiders came inside. How big? Too big to squeeze in, but there they were. Orange and red with an exoskeleton that crunches when they are squished. I can hear you out there, ewwwwww! Once the very same Sara won the girls admiration when she ate one. That night Sara was very sick, a one paper towel roll sick.
I learned that hair spray was my friend. If you shoot those quick big guys with hair spray, they slow down and give you time to get a shoe. And no, shoes are rarely on our feet when we are inside, but luckily we are also messy, and shoes are sprinkled around the house. Jeff isn’t messy and his shoes are the biggest but the farthest away.
Now there’s the granddaughter. I will follow her mother’s lead. She’s more, let’s take the little darling spider outside where it belongs. I can live with that because I’m the adult. No fear in these eyes. My insides are a different matter.
What are your fears? By the way, I am not afraid of snakes. After all, my friends the snakes eat spiders.
Just Saying.
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